Of A Good Courage

Bipolar disorder is the world's least fun roller coaster. When I feel good, I feel REALLY good. But when I am down just getting out of bed is hard, much less trying to act like a normal person all day. The worst part: the days cycle back and forth, sometimes I am up for a two weeks, and then down for a week, then I will be up again. Sometimes people think that bipolar disorder isn't real and that I can just snap out of it, and no matter how much I explain that this is a chemical imbalance in my brain and that I can't just decide to calm down or have a positive attitude, they just can't seem to understand. Wow, this one is starting out depressing, isn't it? I promise, it isn't going to stay that way. How do I know that? Because I have the joy of Christ in my heart and life, and I can't be kept down for long. Just give me a few minutes to work through this one. 

I am not just a person with bipolar disorder; I am also a Christian, and that offers me hope. Specifically, in Joshua 1:9, the bible says: Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest. When I became a Christian, I received the gift of peace and joy that comes from living my life based on God's word, Christ's love, and the Holy Spirit's guidance. I do not believe that this struggle is pointless, there has to be a reason I am going through this. 

This past Sunday's sermon at my church even spoke to this issue. Romans 8:28 states "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose". Basic translation: God can use the bad things that happen to us to forward His plan for our life. I don't know how this is supposed to bring glory to God, or help me in my walk with Him, but I don't have to know. God knows, and I have faith in Him. That is enough for me. So it's time to find a new game plan for dealing with my bipolar disorder, a plan based on faith and God's word, instead of addictions and vice. The bible offers plenty of verses about anxiety, but does it offer a plan of attack for this illness? Enter Ephesians 6:10-18, and the armor of God. 

No, these verses do not specifically talk about mental illness, but they are a battle plan against anything this world or satan may throw at me. The armor of God...it sounds so fierce. I need a little fierce right now, a way to fight the fear and sadness trying to weigh me down. So let's look at the basics:

How can these things help me? 

• Belt of Truth: Honestly, not sure about this one yet, and I would rather admit that than to make something up to try to sound good. I am not here because I have all the answers, but because I follow the One who does. 
• Breastplate of Righteousness: The bible states I cannot be righteous on my own; to only way to be righteous is through the blood of Christ. Just because it is impossible for me to achieve on my own doesn't mean I am off the hook, though. Just because perfection is impossible on my own doesn't mean I don't have to try to obey. God wants me to do my best to follow His commandments, and to do that I have to be totally focused on Him. If I am totally focused on God, it will be a little harder for my sadness and fear to take hold.
• Shoes of the Gospel of Peace: I had a little trouble with this one. I had to research to try to figure out exactly what it means, and there were many different answers. From what I can tell, this means that we are to be prepared to share the gospel with others, and that I should walk in the spirit. If anyone can shed some light on this one, please feel free to let me know. 
• The Shield of Faith: This one sounds pretty basic and simple, but in truth the impact of true faith on a life is immeasurable. If I continue to have faith that God is in control, that alone should have a great impact on my down days. I will be able to believe that I can get through it with God's help, and sometimes the knowledge that I will get through it is the biggest help.
• The Helmet of Salvation: Check. Praise God and yippee!
• The Sword of the Spirit (the bible): If I spend as much of my time as possible in the word of God, it should be pretty hard to forget where my true hope lies. 
• Praying: Ties the whole thing together. I think of it like school: the textbook is very important, but it is also crucial to listen to the teacher. It is important that I spend time in the word of God, but I should also be in constant contact with the author. 

I think God has used this post to help me more than to witness to anyone else. When I started typing this up, I was so unhappy and had forgotten where I was supposed to be looking. Now I am looking towards God, and I am full of hope again. Isn't God wonderful?!? Well, that was super long so I think I will stop here. Until the next post...God bless you!