As soon as I left my sister's house, it was out of sight, out of mind. Driving home, everything felt good, normal. As I think back to this day, I keep wondering why it was so normal. Where were the strong winds, the blinding rain, the guy on the corner holding a sign that says "God is coming"? In every movie I have ever seen, when something life changing is about to happen there is a herald for it, some notice that your life is about to go nuts. I had no such warning...or maybe that is not true. Maybe every time my mother told me she was praying for me, every time someone invited me to church, every time my heart felt a tug, that was a reminder that there was still a God even if I chose to ignore that fact. Maybe I received a million warnings, I don't know.
When I pulled up in my driveway, I grabbed my mail. Inside was the church newsletter that I got every so often. My mother is the secretary of the church I used to go to. When I stopped attending the church, I told my Mom that she could stop sending me the newsletter. She told me that they needed to send out so many newsletters to get the bulk rate, so would I mind if she kept sending it to me? To this day, I don't know if that is true, or if she just wanted to keep a reminder in my life of the way I was supposed to be living. I told her sure, keep sending them. And every time I got one, I made myself look at the cartoon my mother chose for the back, sometimes skimming it so that I felt like a good daughter, sometimes just tossing the whole thing without even opening it. But on August 2nd I felt like I should open it. As I started skimming I read about the pastor's sermon series, one of the sermons being "How to be Saved and Know It". When I read that, I literally said out loud "Okay, I get it. I'll think about going." I wasn't actually talking to God when I looked at my ceiling and said this, I was being sarcastic. As I went to bed that night, I still thought I was master of my own life. Little did I know...
Some people say dreams are from God, others say they are your soul and unconscious trying to tell you something, others say they are just brain waves. I don't know who is right, but that night my dreams did a number on me. I had a horrible dream of the rapture, when the Christians will be taken up to be with God but non-believers will be left behind. I was left behind, and I don't think I have ever had a dream scare me so badly; I woke up screaming. I tried to quickly put it out of my mind, but it wouldn't go. At this point, I started paying a little more attention to what was happening. I wasn't agreeing to anything, to change my life or heart, but I was starting to accept that I might want to be a little more open to the idea. As I went back to sleep that night, I couldn't quite shake the feeling that something wasn't right.
Phase two of God's plan, complete. To be continued tomorrow...
When I pulled up in my driveway, I grabbed my mail. Inside was the church newsletter that I got every so often. My mother is the secretary of the church I used to go to. When I stopped attending the church, I told my Mom that she could stop sending me the newsletter. She told me that they needed to send out so many newsletters to get the bulk rate, so would I mind if she kept sending it to me? To this day, I don't know if that is true, or if she just wanted to keep a reminder in my life of the way I was supposed to be living. I told her sure, keep sending them. And every time I got one, I made myself look at the cartoon my mother chose for the back, sometimes skimming it so that I felt like a good daughter, sometimes just tossing the whole thing without even opening it. But on August 2nd I felt like I should open it. As I started skimming I read about the pastor's sermon series, one of the sermons being "How to be Saved and Know It". When I read that, I literally said out loud "Okay, I get it. I'll think about going." I wasn't actually talking to God when I looked at my ceiling and said this, I was being sarcastic. As I went to bed that night, I still thought I was master of my own life. Little did I know...
Some people say dreams are from God, others say they are your soul and unconscious trying to tell you something, others say they are just brain waves. I don't know who is right, but that night my dreams did a number on me. I had a horrible dream of the rapture, when the Christians will be taken up to be with God but non-believers will be left behind. I was left behind, and I don't think I have ever had a dream scare me so badly; I woke up screaming. I tried to quickly put it out of my mind, but it wouldn't go. At this point, I started paying a little more attention to what was happening. I wasn't agreeing to anything, to change my life or heart, but I was starting to accept that I might want to be a little more open to the idea. As I went back to sleep that night, I couldn't quite shake the feeling that something wasn't right.
Phase two of God's plan, complete. To be continued tomorrow...
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