This Is Eternal Life

Two years ago yesterday my entire life changed. Up until August 4th, 2015 my days were full of wondering if there was any point to my life, if it were too late for me to be anything more than what I already was, and if God even existed. I wasn't too far off when I wondered if there was any point to my life. Before that day my life was nothing more than moments strung together: moments of getting drunk until I passed out, moments of finding affection wherever I could, moments of chain smoking a pack of cigarettes until I couldn't breathe, moments of lying to myself and to everyone around me about who I was and what my life was, moments of longing to die, moments of trying to end my life subconsciously through my addictions, and occasionally moments of attempting to end my life through more drastic means. I lived for nothing except the next moment and hoped that next moment would be full of pleasure instead of pain; more often than not my hopes were for nothing. Pain ruled my life and my heart. Then two years ago, in a streak of white lightening through my heart and my life, God gave me an opportunity to change everything and accept Him as my Lord and give my life to Him. I did so and I haven't been the same, a decision I am grateful for every day.

I have talked many times in this blog about my salvation experience but if you haven't gotten to hear it in full please check out my first three blog posts. Sometimes I reread them when I am feeling down or when the whispers of my old life start back up in my brain. I love to tell the story of how God changed my life and had planned on doing so in this post but I am honestly not feeling so good today so I am going to wrap this post up pretty quickly. I was just so excited to share this milestone with you all that I made myself come to the library to write up this post. 

I am so grateful that you all have been on this journey with me, watching to see all of the ways that God has changed me and my life. I know that I talk a lot about all of the outward changes that He has worked in my life but there is so much more than that. My heart is changing all the time. Sure, I still have angry, doubting, or unloving thoughts but I am becoming quicker to recognize them and let Christ shine through instead. I still screw up and sin all the time (human and all that) but I feel like I growing closer each day to being the woman that the Lord wants me to be. 

The past two years have been a wild ride full of joys, failed tests, conquered temptations, and lessons learned from God's word and His Holy Spirit. Two years ago I was saved through Jesus's sacrifice. Because of that I am now sober, happy, and have a reason to live. I am here to love and worship God, and to be loved by God. I couldn't dream of a better life.